You’d get no pushback if you stated that your partner’s physical illness has impacted your relationship. This is an obvious and widely accepted reality. While this is just as true with mental health conditions, it feels less obvious since people tend to keep such situations to themselves. But we all must open up to this truth and come up with ways to compassionately cope.
For example, depression is widespread. About seven percent of adults have endured at least one depressive episode. Obviously, for the partners of all these folks, this has required them to make some big adjustments. Learning how to support your partner with depression is the first step.
How Depression Can Impact A Couple
Confusion
Depression manifests differently for each person and within each relationship. Inevitably, this will provoke periods of frustration and confusion as you both try to negotiate a full range of emotions. For a couple, there’s a greater risk of feeling emotionally distant.
Less Intimacy
Nearly 75 percent of those diagnosed with depression report a low or vanishing libido. For the partner of a depressed person, these are tricky waters to navigate. They can feel resentment, self-blame, or low self-esteem.
Hopelessness
Depressive disorders notoriously bring about feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. When living with something in such a state, it’s a huge challenge to not slip into negative emotions. Intellectually, you know it’s part of the disorder. But emotionally, it’s not easy to separate how it makes you feel.
Behavioral Changes
Frequently, a depressed person is more likely to engage in risky behaviors, self-medication, infidelity, and aggression. Any of these can set you on a path of extreme conflict.
5 Tips for Helping Your Partner with Depression
1. Self-Education
Accepting that depression has many variations, there is still plenty you can learn through diligent research. Self-education is the gift that keeps on giving. You’re showing your partner how deeply you care. In addition, you’re easing your own burden. When you can recognize trends that once seemed puzzling, you’re better equipped to respond productively to everyone involved.
2. Self-Care
This will be a bumpy ride. Therefore, to be a supportive partner and a self-loving person at the same time, you must commit to daily self-care, for example:
- Safeguard your eating, sleeping, and exercise routines
- Take breaks when needed
- Ask for outside help
- Set healthy boundaries
- Practice stress management and relaxation techniques
3. Remember: It’s Rarely About You
It’s tempting to take your partner’s depression personally, but that would be like taking their diabetes or high blood pressure personally. No one wants to be depressed or damage their relationship. If you can find a healthy perspective about this, it will go a long way toward helping both of you.
4. Grab the Opportunity to Deepen Your Connection
The introduction of depression in your life will present some hefty challenges to your relationship. At the same time, it’s a powerful opportunity to learn more about each other and grow together as healing happens. This is where a therapist is indispensable.
5. Encourage Them to Help Themselves
It’s not your job to do everything for your depressed partner. As part of their recovery, you can offer invaluable help by steering them in the direction of self-care. Yes, you can keep them on a medication schedule and keep their appointments in order. But, simultaneously, you can be a catalyst for them to do some of the work themselves.
You’re Not Alone
You don’t have to do this alone. In fact, it’s strongly recommended that you don’t try. Connect with an experienced therapist. Your partner will get the help they need and you’ll get the guidance you deserve. It all begins with a consultation for depression therapy.
