What comes first, depression or self-criticism? In reality, the convergence of signs and symptoms is never easy to fully identify. Even so, there’s no doubt that self-criticism and depression are very much connected. Before we begin examining the links, let’s clarify what we mean by depression.
Everyone gets down or is sad at times. We all feel the blues. Depression, however, is something different and more intense than these inevitable ups and downs. It’s a diagnosable and complex mental health disorder that involves some serious complications — from fatigue and sadness to thoughts of self-harm. Through it all, a negative inner voice can play a big role.
Understanding Self-Criticism
Unfortunately, it’s very common to hear a monologue in your head. This voice can be critical — more critical than any outsider would ever dream of being. Self-criticism can be self-destructible. It can exacerbate depression. It can contribute to the development of depression.
Your inner critic has a tendency to speak negativity over your life. Such thoughts, if they become chronic, can feel like unforgiving truths in your head. You can lose confidence and self-esteem. In the process, this lays the groundwork for a potential depressive episode.
One possible reason why critical thoughts are so loud is a misguided attempt at self-preservation. When something negative happens, we may remember it more vividly to avoid such a danger in the future. Blaming ourselves provides a simple explanation that can unintentionally send us into a dangerous spiral. It also takes the sting off any outside criticism because, after all, nothing anyone else says can be more harsh than our own words.
Sadly, these strategies typically backfire and make things worse.
How Can Self-Criticism Affect Depression?
First, it’s important to understand that insulting yourself is not going to reduce feelings of depression. This disorder distorts our self-image and instills a sense of despair. Self-criticism reinforces such distortions. It can create fertile ground for a mindset of perfectionism. When your inner voice is a bully, you can become afraid to try anything. A fear of failure permeates your existence and, in turn, increases hopelessness.
Our standards grow increasingly unrealistic. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that inevitably provokes your inner critic into action. You may have depression and feel worried that self-criticism will worsen it. Or perhaps your concern is that self-criticism will lead to depression. Either way, it’s a huge positive step to directly confront this issue.
How to Break Free from Self-Criticism
It begins with self-awareness. That negative voice can be so ever-present that you now view it as normal. Thus, the first step is to start noticing when the negative words kick in. Recognize that you do not have to tolerate such treatment — not even from yourself. From there, you can move forward into these steps:
- Talk Back: Yes, talk out loud to shut down the bully. Challenge the criticisms. Ask for evidence. Recognize that you would never talk to a loved one the way you talk to yourself. Get loud.
- Stay Present: Most of what your inner voice talks about dwells in the past. Stay mindful and present. What happened in the past does not decide how you feel now (or in the future).
- Be Your Own BFF: If your best friend came to you with a problem, would you berate and mock them? Would you remind them of past mistakes before you start listing all their flaws? Of course not. You’d treat them with compassion just as you can treat yourself with self-compassion in times of trial.
Please keep in mind that depression is a serious disorder that requires self-help steps — and much more. Speaking with a professional to get the help you need and deserve can be invaluable. Reach out today to learn more about depression therapy.
