Everyone gets shy at times. Some folks are introverts and prefer to keep a small circle. Social anxiety is different. It’s a diagnosable disorder that can derail a person’s ability to even have social interactions. Social anxiety disorder impacts at least 7 percent of Americans and, since so many people would rather not talk about this condition, the number is surely higher.
There can sometimes be a direct cause-and-effect scenario involved when it comes to discerning why a particular person is socially anxious. More often than not, though, the causes are difficult to identify. However, this disorder seems to disproportionately affect people who were mistreated, abused, or traumatized as children.
What Are Some Signs and Triggers of Social Anxiety?
Someone who is not in the presence of close friends or trusted family members can live in a state of fear. They dread the possibility that the people they interact with will watch, judge, embarrass, or humiliate them. Such fears are triggered by factors like:
- Meeting someone new
- Talking on the phone with anyone they don’t know well
- Dating
- Attending gatherings at which they knew few or no people
- Public speaking in any form
- Being watched as you try something new
- Unexpected conversations with strangers
- Interacting with authority figures
- Getting teased or kidded — even by people you know
Symptoms of Social Anxiety
When triggered, some with social anxiety may:
- Reflexively leave or avoid any situation that might cause anxiety (spoiler alert: most situations will cause anxiety)
- Have a stammering, shaky voice
- Sweat, shake, have a rapid heart rate, shallow breathing, and more
- Have anticipatory stress if a social scenario cannot be evaded
- Struggle with extreme self-criticism
Understanding the Link Between Emotional Mistreatment in Childhood and Social Anxiety
The equation is simple to understand. When a person is too young to understand what’s going on and how to handle it in a self-loving way, they will cultivate dysfunctional coping mechanisms to survive. Children raised in a secure, safe, and nurturing home are far more likely to develop a secure mindset as adults.
Unfortunately, many children endure emotional mistreatment and this can be the root cause of serious problems as they grow into adulthood. Research shows that emotional abuse during childhood can be linked to social anxiety. Other forms of trauma — injury, illness, natural disaster, etc. — can have long-term impacts, of course.
However, emotional wounds appear to more directly correlate to social anxiety. These wounds might be caused by getting criticized, threatened, gaslit, neglected, or rejected. In addition, emotional scars are just as often the result of having basics like housing, food, and clothes withheld.
Parenting Styles and Social Anxiety
A major component of this discussion relates to parenting/caregiving styles. Studies find an association between incidences of social anxiety disorder and parents who:
- Over-control a child’s life
- Withhold affection
- Use harsh criticism
- Are not physically or emotionally available
Factors like this can have effects on a child’s brain that make them hyper-vigilant. Parts of their brain have shifted in size and influence. Living in a state of high alert makes it difficult to differentiate between real and imagined dangers. That’s why something like making a phone call can feel risky to someone who didn’t learn how to regulate their emotions in their early years.
How This Information Can Assist With Recovery
If you feel like your tendency to be “shy” has held you back, it might be social anxiety. On top of that, it might have its roots in some unexplored childhood experiences. Working with an experienced anxiety therapist is a proven path toward unearthing unhealthy patterns, discerning their causes, and discovering new approaches. You can address, manage, and resolve social anxiety disorder. Our team would love to get you started on this journey.
