When you’re the parent of a teenager, you can expect some particular challenges. It can be joyous to watch your child grow and be able to communicate with them in new, more mature ways. At the same time, your child’s teen years are a unique time of growth, confusion, head-butting, and reconnecting. However, some elements can be especially challenging.
Being the parent of an LGBTQ+ teen will push you to evolve into new perspectives and ideas. Quite often, it’ll feel like you’ve flipped roles as your child takes the lead on certain issues. Through the ups and downs, you’ll develop strength and learn fresh ways to view the world.
Supporting Your LGBTQ+ Teen Through Daily Challenges
Here are three of the big ones:
School Life
At school, every child faces possibilities. They may thrive socially and academically as they build independent lives but, at times, school can be a place to dread. As a parent, you need to give them room to develop, but it can be nerve-wracking to not know how they’re doing for a big part of the day.
For LGBTQ+ teens, school can feel like a minefield. Even if they don’t want to admit it, they need your help. You can be the one to liaise with teachers and other staff. You’re their unconditional advocate through potential experiences like teasing, exclusion, and more.
Navigating Social Media
No one wants their teen to be perpetually glued to their phone. However, it might be the primary place for them to connect with other LGBTQ+ teens. This sounds good but can result in them having very few real-life friends. Then, of course, there’s all the peer pressure, bullying, and misinformation. To find a balance will require time and lots of communication, but assure them that you’re always available to talk and listen.
The Decision to Come Out
This is your child’s decision to make, but you can be a valuable source of comfort and guidance. Ideally, you’ll make plenty of time to discover more about their needs and expectations — and then do your best to fulfill such wishes.
To make things more precarious, a lot rests on your child’s age and other specifics about their life and situation. You never want to assume this move is part of “a phase.” Yet, can still be there to talk if they’re unsure about their own feelings.
Supporting Your LGBTQ+ Teen in General
Communication Is a Major Foundation
There is no secret formula for being present without prying. There is no how-to manual providing the exact way to have tough conversations that your LGBTQ+ teen appreciates. You will hit rough patches. Through it all, never waver in your commitment to listen with an open heart and open mind. Prioritize building trust. Stay patient. Lean on your spiritual practice. Create your own support system so you practice communicating with them.
Love Is the Primary Foundation
Through it all, if your child knows they are loved, they are better positioned to handle the slings and arrows. They don’t need you to suddenly transform into an LGBTQ+ expert. But they will notice and deeply appreciate how hard you’re working to understand. Do research together. They will feel the love you’re putting into action.
Taking Care of Yourself, Too
It can tempting to never stop working to help your children. However, every child benefits when their parents take care of themselves, too. Parenting an LGBTQ+ teen can bring you to the point of feeling overwhelmed. This is when you might consider getting outside help.
You might try teen therapy, or perhaps your teen could benefit from an experienced third party. The bottom line is to remember there is valuable support available to you.
