One of the biggest paradoxes about parenting relates to the extreme opinions it inspires. On some days, you might wonder why anyone complains about it. Then, in a flash, you wonder how you’ll make it through the day. Of course, as your child grows, challenges can shift and change. Parents must adjust for such changes. However, there are more constants and similarities than most folks realize.
While tactics and approaches are modified, those techniques can sometimes stay remarkably consistent. For example, choices like offering unconditional love, being a role model, and setting healthy boundaries have no expiration date. Let’s take a closer look.
The General Stages of Parenting — With Some Surprising Similarities
Birth to 2 Years
Needless to say, your child will need a whole lot of attention during this period. The security of the attachment you form with them will help shape so much of their life. Meanwhile, parents may find they do not have much of a social or personal life during these two years. However, while the specifics obviously become more complex, parents should never stop being present, supportive, and nurturing.
2 to 5 Years
The acquisition of language and locomotion are game changers. Then again, this can prepare you for future versions of this dynamic, for example: your child riding the school bus, learning to drive, and being able to go where they choose to go. Toddlers require guidance with their ever-advancing cognitive skills. A parent can give them a taste of independence but make it clear that the child can return to Mom or Dad for security. This template is enduring across the ages.
6 Years to Adolescence
The parental foundation laid for the first six years is now tested when your child creates a social life, takes on academic challenges, and faces peer pressure in a wide range of ways. Most time, your kid will want to solve life’s problems on their own, but as stated above, it can be a source of great comfort to know that their parents are available if they struggle. One big difference during this phase will be an increasing reliance on mature communication.
Late Adolescence to Teens
Your child certainly looks, sounds, acts, and thinks differently. But you still occupy a very specific place and role for them. They crave a unique blend of independence and security. Teens may become more secretive or confrontational, but consider the attributes listed above: offering unconditional love, being a role model, and setting healthy boundaries.
When you scratch beneath the surface, both of you want many of the same things you wanted maybe 16 years ago! The trick for parents is to learn new ways to package old lessons. The success of this effort can correlate to another way of defining “parenting across the ages.”
What About the Parents’ Ages?
People start families at different ages. This can impact how someone parents in ways like this:
- Young parents may have less general life experience, but they often bring higher energy levels, greater knowledge of technology and pop culture, and a flexible learning style to the table.
- Parents approaching middle age may have more emotional and financial stability. Being more established in the work world may allow them to be more present at soccer matches and school plays. But adolescent and teenage kids might view such parents as starting to get out of touch.
- Older parents will certainly face the “out of touch” label. But several decades of experience is something priceless to bring into their role as a parent. They may not be adept at social media, but their gifts can be just as important.
Each child and each parent are unique individuals. Therefore, it’s unwise to overgeneralize. Still, it can be very comforting for parents to realize that the skills they develop remain relevant for many, many years.
If you’re dealing with parenting stress, support is available to you. Don’t hesitate to contact us about teen counseling.
