Getting your teen to talk about anything can be tricky. Kids of this age are notoriously hard to read with the potential of moodiness tossed into the mix. Therefore, encouraging a teenager to open up about mental health can depend greatly on what your current communication style with them is like. If there’s more silence and conflict these days, that must also be addressed as you broach a topic as significant as their mental well-being.
Translation: There is no singular way to handle this scenario. So, be aware of your existing dynamic, but don’t let it deter you. Mental health is far too important to let old patterns get in the way.
Time, Place, Opening Words
Where, when, and how the conversation starts can lay a positive foundation. You don’t want to turn the planning into something business-like, but you will want everyone involved to be comfortable and ready. Sometimes, the best approach is to introduce a topic via gentle observations about perceived changes in your teen’s life. This can allow a discussion to happen organically — a discussion that can be continued when you’re both ready.
It can create an opportunity for bonding to plan conversations around your teen’s interests and schedule. Show them you respect their preferences and burgeoning adulthood. Once you’ve done that groundwork, you can begin pondering the most effective, respectful, and compassionate approaches to take.
How to Encourage Teens to Talk About Their Mental Health
Let’s start with a few firm ground rules:
- Check in with yourself. The shortest path to getting shut down is to allow your emotions to set the tone. It’s okay to feel nervous or scared, but that cannot be what guides the conversation.
- Never use words like “crazy.”
- Do not invalidate what they are feeling. You may not understand it, but that only means that you don’t understand. Don’t make your teen think that you’re judging them.
- Avoid comparing your child to anyone else — especially a sibling.
- Commit to healthy listening. Demonstrate a desire to learn and take their concerns seriously.
- Don’t force them to go further with disclosure until they are ready to do so.
- Let them know they have a committed advocate in you. You’ll self-educate, listen, and be there whenever and wherever they need you.
Productively Moving Forward From There
Ask Open-Ended Questions
If you notice them eating less, let them know you’re paying attention and give them room to share their thoughts as to why. Teens can be volatile. Their hormones are in flux. But you, the adult, can be a beacon of self-discipline. Stay calm and be ready to take breaks when needed.
It’s tempting to try ascertaining what they’re thinking and, thus, precisely what you should say. You’ll be better off aiming for authenticity while practicing self-control when you’re not sure what to say. Your kids have been watching you since their first day. They can sense your moods, too.
Be Genuine and Direct
If you’re not sure about something, admit it. If the conversation has upset you, tell your teen that you’re having a hard time. When you find yourself in a time of silence, let it happen. This gives both of you time to think. The answers will arrive when you’re both ready for them. Just allowing the silence to happen demonstrates that the goal isn’t perfection. The goal is to keep the discussion going so you can both learn and then decide together about what happens next.
Be reassured in the reality that both of you can connect with a mental health professional to not only get help for yourself but to make this crucial parenting process run more smoothly. Reach out to learn more about teen therapy.
