Teen mood swings are common enough to have become fodder for memes and sitcoms. Beyond the oversimplified punch lines, you’ll see some basic reasons as to why your teenage child is tough to decipher. Sure, there are external issues like rampant peer pressure, but neurology during this time is the primary culprit.
Teen brain development affects how they experience emotions and process thoughts. It involves hormone changes that take a while to adjust to. Precisely as your child is navigating some of life’s biggest transitions, their body has laid out a minefield for them to navigate. Whether it’s passive-aggressive eye rolls or engaging in some very risky behaviors, you will definitely witness some reactions.
Brain Development and Teen Mood Swings
Just as teens are on the verge of adulthood, they will go through some very necessary biological shifts. Hormonal changes during and after puberty can cause a teen to suddenly experience strong emotions like sadness, irritability, fear, loneliness, anger, and more. To outsiders, it may appear they are overreacting to something minor. In reality, the outburst has been building for a while.
A surge in chemicals like adrenal stress hormones, sex hormones, and growth hormones influence the development areas in the brain that are responsible for elective functioning, emotional regulation, and more. This, in turn, is shown to increase the likelihood that your teen will:
- Take more risks
- Desperately want to fit in and rebel at the same time
- Be vulnerable to addictions
- Experience some level of anxiety and/or depression
At the same time, however, that child is becoming an adult. They are forming independent opinions, beliefs, and values — and they’re eager to act on them. As a parent, you are left to perform a delicate balancing act. Brain development is real, but it’s not an excuse for anti-social or dangerous choices.
Your teen is feeling simultaneously overwhelmed by pressure from the inside and outside. They need your compassion more than ever.
Navigating Teen Mood Swings
Your patience will be tested. It will also be your strongest tool. How you handle your child’s teen years is a powerful opportunity to serve as a role model. A few suggestions:
- Not every situation is a crisis, so practice not taking everything personally. This is an ideal chance for you to develop greater self-control as you resist reactions that come from a place of pride. Address the big issues for sure, but otherwise, choose your battles wisely.
- You may or may not remember the feeling, but it can be exhilarating to suddenly sense autonomy on the horizon. Give your teens some space to learn things on their own. You won’t always get the balance right — no one does — but you can always ask for help.
- Speaking of help, do you know other parents of teenagers? If so, talk to those peers and learn from each other.
- Through it all, keep an eye out for red flags. Moodiness is normal but your teen may need support if they are self-isolating, experiencing physical symptoms with no obvious cause, struggling at school, lacking resilience, or talking critically about themselves. Anything they say that even remotely sounds like self-harm must be immediately, yet compassionately, addressed.
No One Should Expect You to Have All the Answers
It’s possible that you struggled mightily during your own teen years and all of the above feels triggering. Well, there’s no how-to manual for any of this, but there are experienced guides who can point you in new, healthier directions. Connecting with a seasoned teen therapist is a proven path to the kind of personal evolution that empowers you to be a more compassionate parent.
