Living with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can make someone feel like an outsider. The most common ADHD symptoms do not conform to societal expectations. As a result, at least one-third of the people with this diagnosis rely on masking in an attempt to fit in. They mimic the behaviors of the “typical” people in their life and are sometimes able to give the impression that a struggle is not brewing under the surface.
Trying to camouflage one’s symptoms may, at first glance, seem logical. In reality, all it does is cause internal effects like shame, guilt, delays in treatment, substance use, and more.
What Is ADHD Masking?
When a person is dealing with a mental illness, they may knowingly or unknowingly take active steps to hide their symptoms. In the name of avoiding stigma and negative attention, people mask the signs of conditions like ADHD. If you’re already feeling self-conscious about ADHD behaviors, it can feel wise to disguise traits like impulsivity, hyperactivity, distractibility, etc.
Common ADHD Masking Behaviors
- Suppressing emotions
- Learning how to hide the fact that your mind is racing
- Studying others and mimicking their behaviors
- Avoiding particular people or situations to avoid having to mask
- Suppressing signs of edginess or nervousness, for example, restless leg, finger tapping, and more
Frequently, ADHD masking manifests in signs of perfectionism. These often include being unable to relax. Checking and re-checking everything, obsessive cleaning and hygiene, and going to extremes to appear focused and in control. All of this may require the creation of meticulous systems to keep the masking from being identified. This is obviously a lot of work, and it does not come without some negative impacts.
Some of the Internal Effects of Masking
Perhaps the foundational internal effect of ADHD masking is that when you hide symptoms, you are less likely to get the help you need. With young children, this is less likely to happen as they are not yet skilled enough at keeping things hidden. However, from adolescence on, when someone masks ADHD, they may end up not getting a diagnosis. In turn, a lack of diagnosis translates into a lack of treatment.
Other Possible Internal Effects of ADHD Masking
Overload
The Herculean effort to mask ADHD symptoms is exhausting. People engaging in their dysfunctional coping mechanisms can wind up with a massive amount of stress in their lives. As they move from social situation to social situation, the pressure is never relieved. The 24/7 of being “exposed” can translate into ongoing mental and physical health issues.
Detachment and Dissociation
After a while, masking can leave a person confused. The people in your life know a fictional version of you, and this can distort your sense of self. The longer masking happens, the more probable it is that you’ll begin to internal demonize your real self. You wonder if anyone would like you if you let down your guard.
Maintaining the Facade
Perfectionism was discussed above. It can become the norm when someone with ADHD goes to extremes to keep others from knowing. Any slip-up, they believe, is enough to bring down the house of cards. Therefore, they live a life of hyper-awareness as they chase an impossible goal: perfection.
Self-Medication
ADHD masking can go as far as hiding the disorder from your medical team. Thus, you still struggle in ways people with ADHD struggle, but you’re not getting treatment (therapy, medication, or both). This reality, plus the pressure to “stay in character,” can drive you to self-medicate via alcohol, drugs, or other addictive activities.
You can replace ADHD masking with healthy coping skills. To learn more about this process, I invite you to reach out about ADHD therapy soon.
