Some kids like school. But summer has a way of making the return to school feel less palatable for most students. Sure, there’s the social aspect, but given the choice, children would rather do plenty of other things than sit still at a desk all day. They’re born to move and explore, but that’s called bad behavior in an academic setting.
Then you have the added factor of anxiety. In a post-pandemic, increasingly digital world, kids are less sure of where and how they fit in. This can simmer until it reaches an anxious boiling point. Suddenly, as a parent, you’re faced with a child who is struggling with the whole idea of “back to school.”
Common Signs of Back-to-School Anxiety
A child of any age who is struggling with back-to-school anxiety may display symptoms like:
- Physical issues that have no clear cause
- Unwillingness to socialize with classmates
- Restlessness in class
- Not making eye contact
- Feeling panicked when called on in class
- Noticeable decline in grades and participation
Children under 10 might engage in tantrums, clingy behavior, and make excuses to avoid school. For adolescents and teens, this can manifest in anything from truancy to self-harm.
Common Causes of Back-to-School Anxiety
- Anxiety Disorder: It might be fully related to school. Your child could have an existing anxiety disorder that is being exacerbated by the reintroduction of the school year.
- Trauma: Childhood trauma is real and very, very common. Such a crisis—at any age—can make going to school feel unsafe.
- Health Problems: Dealing with an injury, illness, or disability can make anyone withdraw. A young person may understandably view school with wariness when they have a medical issue.
- School-Specific Problems: The easiest cause to identify would be anything that is currently happening at school. Kids get bullied, have trouble with academics, or just feel like they don’t fit in.
Gentle Ways to Ease Your Child’s Back-to-School Anxiety
1. Validate
Don’t downplay or dismiss your child’s concerns. Show them that you’re curious to learn more and help. Without making assumptions, talk with them to learn about their experiences. Acknowledge that any type of change can feel like a challenge at first.
2. Advance Planning
If you’re aware that your child is anxious, take steps to prepare in advance. It can be very helpful to transition into school-year routines about two weeks before school starts. For younger kids:
- Visit the school with them before class begins to make them more familiar with the venue
- Set up play dates with classmates they may not have seen all summer
When supporting teens with anxiety:
- Arrange a time to talk face-to-face
- Give them a chance to articulate what they’re feeling and what they need
- Connect with teachers and school officials to ask for their input
3. Check Yourself
Unknowingly, you could be adding to the stress. If you’re nervous about them returning to school, your children will pick up on that fear. Your sincere desire to help can show up as anxiety and worry. As much as you want to protect your kids, you can end up instilling unnecessary fear in them. Stay open to change and flexible about your approach.
You Don’t Have to Figure It Out Alone
Teen therapy can be an ideal method for parsing out all the potential factors involved in back-to-school anxiety. The dynamics between you and your children—and your children and their school—can serve to obscure important patterns and habits.
Working with a therapist empowers you and your kids to feel validated while getting a chance to hear some new ideas. Back-to-school anxiety can absolutely be managed, and I’d love to help you with that process.
